This teaching thing is making me think about what it is challenging me to do. One thing is to perform - to act on my feet in front of other people, with an element of entertainment, often spontaneously in response to unexpected changes in schedule, but still according to set perameters which are assessed. geez. I remember vaguely that I used to like, in my previous life, to have a bit of time to think privately, to reflect, to listen more than talk, to be alone at times, and to have things planned out. I recall that was why I chose the different jobs and training I've had up to this point.
Hmm, no wonder I find this stressful. Being required to do something outside my usual way, to learn something new without too much risk, could be interesting. I guess it is. But this is certainly pushing the way I thought about myself and what I wanted to do. Luckily, some of it is fun - the crafts using toilet paper tubes, the chance to laminate, the challenge of it, the coloring in the lines, the opportunity to share one's culture and to teach Emiratis to throw things away in the garbage can, to instill the Anglo-Saxon idea of standing in line and not pushing to another part of the world. Those things are satisfying.
The challenge of doing something totally outside my comfort zone and training drives me right now. What goes with that is the realization that I know so little and do it so poorly compared to experienced teachers I have known. oh well. I am trying. I am hoping that someday these performances will desensitize me to future public speaking, that I will have more faith in my ability to just do it and stop overthinking it and overpreparing it. Maybe that is what this is about. And the realization that at 41 years old I can just learn something new, and go out and do it. Maybe that will give me confidence in whatever I do next.
Hmm, no wonder I find this stressful. Being required to do something outside my usual way, to learn something new without too much risk, could be interesting. I guess it is. But this is certainly pushing the way I thought about myself and what I wanted to do. Luckily, some of it is fun - the crafts using toilet paper tubes, the chance to laminate, the challenge of it, the coloring in the lines, the opportunity to share one's culture and to teach Emiratis to throw things away in the garbage can, to instill the Anglo-Saxon idea of standing in line and not pushing to another part of the world. Those things are satisfying.
The challenge of doing something totally outside my comfort zone and training drives me right now. What goes with that is the realization that I know so little and do it so poorly compared to experienced teachers I have known. oh well. I am trying. I am hoping that someday these performances will desensitize me to future public speaking, that I will have more faith in my ability to just do it and stop overthinking it and overpreparing it. Maybe that is what this is about. And the realization that at 41 years old I can just learn something new, and go out and do it. Maybe that will give me confidence in whatever I do next.
Fantastic post Jen. I admire your courage!
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