I have not written much recently but I am starting to have a lot of thoughts about living here. Maybe I am starting to finally get a sense of the place.
One thing I've thought about a lot is the rules that cultures have. There are all sorts of unspoken rules about how a society or culture runs. When you move to a new place, you often don't know them. So things are confusing or surprising. For example, here one rule is that you can spit on the sidewalks. Or, another one is that everyone tries hard not to run into anyone else (on foot, bike, motorized bike, or car). This means you move a few inches to the side instead of standing your ground. Then everyone is happy and can move. No big confrontations over space. However, we come from places where there is more space, so we don't tend to do that - we stand our ground and people should move. I think we are more comfortable with confrontation. I don't think they want that here. I saw today an older woman step off the curb without looking and a young man on a motorized scooter almost ran into her. But neither person said anything. They just avoided each other and went on their way. I see that when they drive too - they go slow and avoid each other. I've been told it's about saving face, too. No one looks humiliated.
So personal space boundaries are smaller - we get crowded onto the elevators and on the subway. People also don't hold doors for others - if you did, you'd stand there forever, I guess. And yet if you do, they are very grateful - I had a little girl thank me today very sincerely. So, if you break the rule, they recognize it.
There are a lot of people here, so the cultural rules reflect that. I think a lot of them come from population size - you need to get along in crowds without conflict, yet you need to get ahead and look after yourself or someone else will just take your place.
One thing I've thought about a lot is the rules that cultures have. There are all sorts of unspoken rules about how a society or culture runs. When you move to a new place, you often don't know them. So things are confusing or surprising. For example, here one rule is that you can spit on the sidewalks. Or, another one is that everyone tries hard not to run into anyone else (on foot, bike, motorized bike, or car). This means you move a few inches to the side instead of standing your ground. Then everyone is happy and can move. No big confrontations over space. However, we come from places where there is more space, so we don't tend to do that - we stand our ground and people should move. I think we are more comfortable with confrontation. I don't think they want that here. I saw today an older woman step off the curb without looking and a young man on a motorized scooter almost ran into her. But neither person said anything. They just avoided each other and went on their way. I see that when they drive too - they go slow and avoid each other. I've been told it's about saving face, too. No one looks humiliated.
So personal space boundaries are smaller - we get crowded onto the elevators and on the subway. People also don't hold doors for others - if you did, you'd stand there forever, I guess. And yet if you do, they are very grateful - I had a little girl thank me today very sincerely. So, if you break the rule, they recognize it.
There are a lot of people here, so the cultural rules reflect that. I think a lot of them come from population size - you need to get along in crowds without conflict, yet you need to get ahead and look after yourself or someone else will just take your place.
Comments
Post a Comment